WEEKLY DOSE: sarahtonin #9

there's an exhale inside...

Photo by Dan Asaki on Unsplash

In full transparency, I stared at a blinking cursor for a while before this poured out of me. Before I was able to tap into the purpose and the dam gates opened. The weight of the world feels especially heavy right now, and when that happens, my instinct is to get quiet. To sit in the overwhelm. To let the enormity of it all convince me that nothing I do really makes a difference; whether globally, in my city, in my circle of friends when we’re all going through varying things. But here’s the thing—that is exactly the kind of thinking that keeps us stuck and keeps us out of alignment. That is what keeps us from creating the pockets of light we so desperately need.

And I refuse to let that be the vibe here. In fact, it’s the antithesis of Sarahtonin.

I started this space with the intention of giving you (and, let’s be real, myself) a place to come and exhale. A little corner of the loud internet where you know, without question, that you will leave feeling better than when you arrived. Not because we ignore the hard stuff, because we’re not skimming over or stuffing around here either. (Nope, we go there, as you have likely already seen.) But because we remind each other that there is still so much good to hold onto, so much within our control, and how does that start? By showing up for ourselves, our people, and our communities and loving them all harder.

Lately, in nearly every conversation I’ve had, we keep circling back to this idea: now, more than ever, we have to take care of ourselves— like really take care of ourselves—so we have the energy to pour into what (and who) matters most to us. It means prioritizing the things that make us feel strong, grounded, and at peace. It’s more important to be a solid, steady-burning ember, warming what is within our own reach, rather than spreading ourselves too thin and the flame burning out before it can do any good. (Trust me, I am still trying to figure this one out myself.)

So with that, this is your permission slip from me to double down on what keeps you sane. Move your body. Eat nourishing things that make you feel good. Hug your people tight and try being the last to let go. Get outside. Unclench your jaw. Soften the space in between your eye brows. Take a breath that actually meets the bottom of your exhale. And most importantly, keep showing up. Even when you don’t have the perfect words for someone. Even when all you can do is take the next right step.

I will leave you with what a very close friend texted me in conversation this week when discussing the unrelenting demands of being a human, that not only stopped me in my tracks but exemplifies it all.

the lower i go

the higher i rise;

the darker i know,

the brighter i see;

the longer i’m gone,

the more light i get to bathe in when it’s my time to summit.